So ACA still have not screened my Interview, I can’t be sure when it will be appearing. A Current Affair was great when they came and did the Interview about 2 weeks ago.
So I wouldn’t be surprised if No one is even reading my blogs anymore, ha, ha, ha, I’m not concerned. It’s just my way of expressing and dealing with things that are happening in my day and life as I continue on my journey.
So today My PT changed our training venue and it was good. My Legs are hurting hard core, as are my knees also. I think today for the first time in my life I actually thought I wasn’t going to be able to keep standing.
I just keep talking to myself reminding myself about my goals and about not quitting on myself, if I don’t complete or turn up to a session with my PT it isn’t my PT’s issue; it is mine, it is me quieting on myself.
I love my Rugby League, I have always loved sport and in particular Rugby League and Cycling. I have always dreamed about being able to do both of these sports again. I think at 33 and Morbidly Obese these dreams may have pasted me, but then someone listened to my pleas for help.
The day I got the call from ACA it honestly was an emotional time, because it was time to face the real issues. No one should ever be 200kgs ever.
While my family and friends enjoy life, I hide from life. While they all get married and have kids I live alone inside a shell of a body that I feel is killing me if not already done so.
I want to tell people what it is like; I go to sleep wondering if I will wake up, wondering if a chest pain is a sign my heart has packed it in.
Some people have said I’m very brave for telling my story warts and all, but I don’t think or feel I’m brave, I would say I am silly for even having a story like this to tell. I am responsible for my actions and my actions have lead me to this journey to Save my life.
I want people to understand that this isn’t a life for anyone; it’s hellish and downright shattering. I now know what I should have done many, many years before.
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