The world we live in never ceases to amaze me, I was asked today what is it you want most out of this journey, For me it isn’t being able to buy clothes of the shelf that fit, nor is being able to find love, or be able to walk down the street “Firstly without puffing and Secondly without people staring.
For me it is to finally be able to look at my family have them look back at me proudly, very plain and simple. I feel this every day, this feeling that I don’t make them proud and how could I, I’m certainly not proud of myself and way I have become morbidly Obese.
You Know when i started this blog, it was for me and always will be for me a way to express the raft of emotions that is my life and i deal with every day, this is my journey, It is about me and how things happen and flow as I go along.
Today I started my journey with my Personal Trainer Andrew. Baby steps followed my hard work is Andrews moto. Having Andrew there is going to be a massive help. Andrew is a part of a team called Be Transformed based in Bourbong st Bundaberg.
What many people don’t know and I guess wouldn’t ever care about is that Be Transform is a team of wonderful people a real network of people that includes Trainers, Dieticians, Psychologist’s and some of the kindest people alive. They have gone above and beyond for this, offering their services without charge. Yes that’s right Nothing. Why would they do this, because they simply care about people, they understand at times some people actually struggle and need a helping hand.
So today, I had my first real introduction to the world of hard yards to gain my goal. Most people would have happily done what I did today without much effort, but for me this was my first challenge at 200kgs plus walking and exercising can be difficult to say the least.
I am determined to make this adventure and journey a success that in the end I will be healthy and obese free.
I was raised in by some wonderful people, I have never forgotten what family means and never will, I guess over the years I lost that in translation along the way, losing base with some very wonderful people who I class as family.
I have been blown away by the support and interest shown by everyone who has read my blog posts and left me messages on my facebook. I’m humbled by your support. I didn’t expect it and nor did I ever think I would be afforded it. I’m just a plain guy who is trying to say my life.
I’m not sure if people would understand what it is like, how the pain off being obese tears, rips and attacks your body, mind and soul. I struggle to do the simplest of things at times, from tying my shoe laces to walking and standing on my feet for long periods.
What lies beneath my surface is a hard to answer; I can’t answer this cause I’m still trying to find this out for myself.
What did I do, how did i get myself to the point where you don’t even recognise who I’m anymore, I have missed the best year of my life by hiding away inside a body and life that is just a shell of who I am.
I’m trying to look deep inside to find that person I know is in there. Once I find him I aint letting him go. I used to dream about a life far away, now I am going to realise this dream and become the person I have always known I am.
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